7 Warning Signs You’re a Mom Who is Doing Too Much
As a mom, the minute your little one gets placed in your arm you instantly assume a few new roles. You become a childminder, a doctor, a maid, a confidant, a playmate, a cook, a protector, a helper…the list is endless!
It’s an instinct in us moms and the beautiful part is that we wear all of these hats joyfully.
However, while we want to do and be all we can for our kids, sometimes, it can get a little too much.
I grew up in a household where my mom wanted to help her kids do everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING. She had grown up with a somewhat absentee father and a mom who couldn’t care less about her kids and wanted to give us all the love she didn’t get.
This was great, but it also became a little too much. Not just for us, but mostly for her.
Each day that passed made it a little more glaring how her “love” was affecting us all. She tried to do all but help us breathe and I know she would have if she had her way.
Raising healthy, well-adjusted kids has to do with striking a balance in your role as a mom and this starts with knowing just how much to do at each point in time.
If you suspect you might be doing too much here are
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7 Warning Signs You’re a Mom Who is Doing Too Much
Doing too much as a mom could present in one of both ways:
- You are doing too much physically.
- You are doing too much emotionally.
Here are the seven signs that should help:
1) You Are Anxious All the Time
This is one of the most easily -recognizable sign you are a mom that is doing too much.
You’ll find you are always anxious either from the fear something could go wrong or because you feel you have to get things done yourself for them to be done right.
My mom always had to have us close to her, because she thought the world was bad and someone was out to hurt us.
Luckily, we were four siblings, so the playmate pool was a bit large and we were able to keep ourselves busy and entertained most of the time.
However, this didn’t stop us from feeling lonely sometimes and wishing we could be allowed to mix with other kids.
2) You’re Stressed Out Most of the Time
As a mom, you could also get stressed out from wanting to do everything for your kids.
Doing all of those tasks that keep a home organized and running is great, but if you start to feel stressed out, especially if this happens too often, then you want to heed this obvious warning sign.
Part of adjusting has to do with knowing what to do when and also when to let things be. You could get everyone to chip as you work so you aren’t expending all your energy trying to keep the home tidy and running
My motto is: “Since we all live there, we all should do our bits to keep things running smoothly.
I try to get everyone to chip in to get things done, even my hubby, who’s away from the home most of the time helps out whenever he’s around.
Sometimes, if we are all too tired, then we let the home sit. I figure a little occasional untidiness never killed anyone. Besides, it sorts of gives the home a ” lived-in” kind of feel.
3) You’re Always Tired
If you are always tired or you wake up so even if you had enough sleep, then this could be another clear sign you need to tone things down a little in the mom department.
Getting an organizer to plan things out would work great in such instances and while at it, you want to include a little mom-time every so often.
I recommend taking a few hours every couple of days just to relax and unwind from all the stress of daily living.
My “mom time” is spent doing things I love. You could get someone to come babysit the kids or have a friend pick them up so this gives you ample time to catch up on personal interests or hobbies.
4) Your Hobbies and Interests are Always on Hold
Part of being a better mom is living for the now, not waiting to do so once your kids are grown and have left the nest.
I have a few friends who had some hobbies and interests before becoming a mom. Now their kids are the center of their world (which is a great thing), but their lives have been placed on pause.
I have hobbies, one of which is writing and I try to strike a balance between this and my role as a mom.
Yes, there will be priorities and my kids will always come first, however, I don’t want to wake up fifteen years from now to find my kids are gone and I haven’t the faintest idea of what to do with my life!
5) You Feel Resentful Towards Everyone
This is just the logical resulting emotion when you are giving all of yourself to everyone else.
There’s likely to be that tiny inkling of resentment just behind the surface, especially if you feel you are the only one pulling weight around and aren’t being appreciated and this will be let out in you lashing out sometimes at everyone, even for the slightest offenses.
6) Your Kids Feel Slightly Resentful
Also, if your kids are like my siblings and I were when we were kids, then there’s also likely to be some resentment on their parts.
I’m guessing most kids would feel somewhat resentful in a similar situation.
Emotional attachment is usually the harder of the two to make adjustments in. If you are strongly attached to your kids, and it’s making everyone a little uncomfortable, then you would have to be very deliberate about giving your kids a little more space to be themselves or make their own mistakes.
7) Everyone Tells You to Take a Break
The best part about having friends is that can always tell when we are stressed, tired, and need a break.
If you are doing too much as a mom then your friends will be there to point this out to you.
When this happens, you want to heed this advice and take a much-deserved rest.
If you aren’t already taking occasional rests, now might be the time to start scheduling appointments to the spa, or plan dates with the girls. Just ensure you are getting enough rest, as only then can you be a much better mom to your kids and feel more fulfilled while at it.
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